Jokes about lists.

A judge in Soviet Russia walks out of a courtroom giggling to himself. Another judge stops him and asks what's so funny. "Oh man, I just heard this joke about Comrade Stalin in my courtroom." "I wan't to hear it" says the second judge. The first judge says, "No way, I just gave someone 25 years in the gulag for it."35+ Racist Jokes. “Can comedians joke about anything?” is an important question of today. In today’s times, people are pressurized to use inclusive language to appease others. This is mainly due to the rise of the Woke and Cancel Culture—especially in the West. A word that is considered appropriate a few years ago might be considered a ...Aug 28, 2023 · 15. ADVERTISEMENT. A one-liner, also known as a punchline in some cases, is a truly remarkable form of a joke. First of all, it is so short that by telling it, you’ll never miss the ‘magical moment’ and will always leave your audience amused (that is if you’ve calculated your timing perfectly). Hence, if you are looking for a comedic ... Here are some great poop joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about poop. Poop is a crap palindrome. When bears poop in the forest, the smell is un-bear-able. They said pooping is a call of nature. So is farting a missed call. Parent’s truth: The further you are from the bathroom, the more urgently your kid needs …A dyslexic boy is driving home from training with his mother. “Can we go to McDonald’s, mum? I’m hungry,” the boy inquires. “Of course, if you can spell McDonald’s, we’ll stop on the way home, son.”. The boy takes a breather, gathers himself, and begins “M…C.”. He starts to struggle. “Ah f*ck it, let’s have a KCF.”.

I never even listen when you tell me them.”. “You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.”. “I would ask how old you are, but I know you can’t count that high.”. “Mirrors can’t talk. Lucky for you, they can’t laugh either.”. “Shock me, say something intelligent.”.Jokes are a fantastic way to bond and share lighthearted moments. In this compilation, we’ve gathered over 147+ hilarious one-liners that revolve around women and their quirks. These jokes are meant to entertain and bring smiles to your face. So, get ready to embrace the humor and let the giggles roll! Read more: jokes about mommy.A fish swam into a concrete wall, Dam! Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic. The guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda was lucky it was a soft drink. The man who invented knock-knock jokes should get a no bell prize.

Are you looking to lighten the mood and bring laughter to your friends, family, or colleagues? Look no further than extremely funny jokes. With their ability to bring joy and laugh...I have a joke about time travel, but you guys didn’t get it. I have a joke about being an electrician, but it’s too shocking. I have a joke about hunting for fossils, but you probably wouldn ...

The old folks home was very secure. Each door was guarded by a century. You may be old, but I don't carrot all. Be kind to your children, because when you get older, they're the ones who are going to choose your nursing home. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.A fish swam into a concrete wall, Dam! Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic. The guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda was lucky it was a soft drink. The man who invented knock-knock jokes should get a no bell prize.A young blonde girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had. any odd jobs for her to do.Dad jokes are more than funny jokes that happen to be told by men with kids. They walk a razor-thin line between wit and dumb humor, equal parts cheesy and hilarious.A great dad joke is almost always a variation on the pun — a punchline that’s both super ridiculous and cerebrally obscure.150 School Jokes. School can be a roller coaster of emotions, packed with joyous moments, challenging hurdles, and, of course, a significant amount of learning. But amidst all the study hours and the endless flow of homework, there’s always room for a good, hearty laugh. This collection of school jokes is designed to lighten your mood and add ...

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Checklists Puns. The quality of education is so poor today that some people don't even know the difference between a checklist and a ticklist! Checklist: a tool for ensuring coverage of a subject can be completed with a check mark of some form, for instance, a cross, a tick, etc. Ticklist: someone who is tickling you.

Aaron Rodgers insinuated Jimmy Kimmel was part of the Jeffrey Epstein list of people who traveled to his island. Kimmel threatened to sue and roasted rodgers on his show. Kimmel threatened to sue ...Are you in need of a good laugh? Look no further. We’ve compiled a list of the funniest jokes of the day that are guaranteed to crack up your friends. Have you ever wondered what m...12. RIP, boiling water. You will be mist. 13. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 14. I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know what comes first.Here are the best Amy Schumer jokes, ranked by comedy fans everywhere. One of the best female comedians working today, Amy Schumer quickly made a name for herself on the Comedy Central show Inside Amy Schumer. From there, she went on to star in such films as Trainwreck and I Feel Pretty.Jokes regarding Paul Walker's November 2013 passing at the 2015 Comedy Central roast of Justin Bieber became so offensive to the cast of Fast and Furious that Ludacris asked for them to be edited out of the taping before it aired on national TV. During the event, comedian Jeff Ross made an unabashed jab at the franchise, commenting: …Dec 29, 2023 · Make a noise like a carrot. A driver and a zebra are out for a drive when they get pulled over by the police. The police officer looks in the car and says “You need to take that zebra to the zoo.”. So the driver turned around and took the zebra to the zoo right away.

The jokes for math majors on this list cover a wide berth of topics ranging from algebra to geometry to even a bit of calculus just to spice things up. These jokes for math majors might seem impenetrable, but once you put on your thinking cap, you’ll be rolling on the floor of your university’s Math wing laughing. Look no further because I’ve got you covered with 75 hilarious jokes about all things history. These jokes will not only tickle your funny bone but also impress your friends with your wit and cleverness. We’ll be cracking puns about famous figures and making clever quips about significant events throughout time. Conclusion: math jokes for kids. Math doesn’t have to be boring. Incorporating the best math jokes into your lessons can make them more fun and memorable! A study from the National Association of Independent Schools suggests that “by high school, 40 to 60 percent of youth are disengaged.” More importantly, “student …The Best School Jokes Ever Told. Vote up any funny joke about school or students. A list of the funniest jokes about going to school that you’ve ever heard. Outside of these school jokes, there’s nothing funny about the classroom. Seriously, we tried to think about something else that was funny about taking tests and dealing with windbag ...Jan 19, 2022 · A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him. “Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there ...

1 reranks. Voting Rules. Vote up any funny joke about lawyers and attorneys. Lawyers are allegedly the worst. They’re mainly (not really) only necessary as the butt of a good joke. Speaking of which, this is a list of the funniest lawyer jokes ever. The puns, one liners, and foibles on this list not only serve as a trenchant critique of the ...

Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.”. Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…”. Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline. Give a man a plane ticket and he’ll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he’ll fly for the rest of his life. People say that life is short I say….May 8, 2024 · You giraffe me crazy. I didn’t do it on porpoise! My throat’s a little horse. I can’t bear it. Don’t be hippocritical. These jokes are the sealiest. I have all the koalafications. If you ... The old folks home was very secure. Each door was guarded by a century. You may be old, but I don't carrot all. Be kind to your children, because when you get older, they're the ones who are going to choose your nursing home. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.Dec 29, 2023 · Make a noise like a carrot. A driver and a zebra are out for a drive when they get pulled over by the police. The police officer looks in the car and says “You need to take that zebra to the zoo.”. So the driver turned around and took the zebra to the zoo right away. May 1, 2024 · One-Liner Dad Jokes. RIP boiling water, you will be mist. I once wrote a song about a tortilla, but it's more of a wrap. A witch's vehicle goes brrroom brrroom! The waiter asked if I wanted a box for my leftovers, but I told him I’m not into fighting. After reading through all these monkey jokes we hope you had a good laugh. If you want to hear more funny animal jokes, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes: Bee jokes; Jokes about dolphins; Dinosaur jokes for kids; Funny dog punsList of fat jokes and humor, culled from TV shows, films, stand-up comedy and pop culture. These one-liners and humorous anecdotes look at fat jokes from a variety of perspectives, and try to find humor in wry observations, through irony and sarcasm, and even just by being silly. Human beings love...

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45 Funny Christian Jokes. Canva/Parade. 1. What did Jonah's family say when he told them about what happened before reaching Nineveh? "Hmm, sounds fishy." 2. What was Moses' wife, Zipphora, known ...Dive into our compilation of the best Country Jokes that promise a chuckle from every corner of the world! Whether it’s the witty humor from Australia or the whimsical giggles from Brazil, we’ve gathered a diverse collection to tickle your funny bone. Curious about what makes a Kenyan lion roar with laughter or why a Swiss flag is amusing?I've grouped some classics (and new funnies) in familiar categories for easy selection, and put together a large group of 100 side-splitting funny clean jokes. In this Hub, you can look forward to having access to: "Chicken crossing the road" jokes. Animal jokes. PG-rated religion jokes. Knock knock jokes. Computer jokes. Husband and wife jokes.12. RIP, boiling water. You will be mist. 13. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 14. I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know what comes first.Here are some great poop joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about poop. Poop is a crap palindrome. When bears poop in the forest, the smell is un-bear-able. They said pooping is a call of nature. So is farting a missed call. Parent’s truth: The further you are from the bathroom, the more urgently your kid needs …If you are looking for the very best dark jokes to tell your friends, we’ve got you covered. Bored Panda community voted for and picked the very best ones. Hence, we’re confident that the first ten entries on this list can be dubbed the top 10 dark humor jokes on the internet. #1. Riccardo Falconi Report.Are you looking to lighten the mood and bring laughter to your friends, family, or colleagues? Look no further than extremely funny jokes. With their ability to bring joy and laugh...Here are some of the 30 best jokes and craziest moments from the special (in no particular order): “This is where Jerry Buss laid his dick out. This was called the …Not Happy. 2. A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank. The rabbit says, “I believe that I am a type o.”. 3. You know, there’s a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot. 4. I’ll never forget my dad’s face when I gave him his 50th birthday card, tears in his eyes, as he said to me, ‘One ...One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence. Another boy …It's the little jokes to yourself, to your significant other, or from your kid, that really make you smile, and sometimes burst out in laughter. These 12 grocery lists are all so funny.Here are 105 guaranteed to get a quick laugh: What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus. “I’d like to start with the chimney jokes – I’ve got a stack of...

I am over 18. Meet your newest employee. My salary shall be 5000 bucks. (TKZS = a state-run commie collective farm.) A man walks in the TKZS' boss office and says: "Meet your newest employee. My salary shall be 5000 bucks." The boss laughs straight at his face: "Comrade, the average salary here is 150 bucks. I don't make 500.150 School Jokes. School can be a roller coaster of emotions, packed with joyous moments, challenging hurdles, and, of course, a significant amount of learning. But amidst all the study hours and the endless flow of homework, there’s always room for a good, hearty laugh. This collection of school jokes is designed to lighten your mood and add ...Who doesn’t love a good laugh? Laughter is contagious, and it has the power to bring people together. Whether you’re having a bad day or just need a pick-me-up, jokes can instantly...45 Hilarious List Puns - Punstoppable 🛑. My wife asked me to put ketchup in the shopping list. Now I can't read anything. 👍︎ 357. 💬︎. 18 comments. 👤︎ u/sm-aug. 📅︎ …Instagram:https://instagram. tnt streams Mar 13, 2024 · 7. Old age makes us great multitaskers. Why, I can sneeze and pee at the same time! 8. One benefit of old age is that your secrets are always safe with your friends … because they can’t ... resmed com myair These are the best jokes for kids in 2023 — and, with a list of more than 200, you'll probably be able to find one that'll meet them where they're at. Whether they like jokes about their ...150 School Jokes. School can be a roller coaster of emotions, packed with joyous moments, challenging hurdles, and, of course, a significant amount of learning. But amidst all the study hours and the endless flow of homework, there’s always room for a good, hearty laugh. This collection of school jokes is designed to lighten your mood and add ... restauran depot Mar 24, 2020 · The Greatest Rodney Dangerfield Jokes & One-Liners, Ranked. Jack Napier. Updated March 24, 2020 25 items. Ranked By. 3.2K votes. 440 voters. To many comedy enthusiasts, there was no greater stand-up than Rodney Dangerfield. He first grew in popularity during the 1960s and '70s as he would regularly appear on late-night talk show circuits. The old folks home was very secure. Each door was guarded by a century. You may be old, but I don't carrot all. Be kind to your children, because when you get older, they're the ones who are going to choose your nursing home. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. device to detect hidden cameras My manhood is only six inches, but it smells like a foot. —–. 29. A man and his family are staying at a hotel. The man asks the employee at the front desk if the adult channels are disabled. No, it’s just regular p*rn, you sick f*ck. —–. 30. Doing the business in elevators is great on so many levels.31. Why did the credit card go to jail? It was guilty as charged. 30. What do you give prisoners for dessert? Jaily-Beans. #29 – 20. Prison Jokes. 29. scanner radio police scanner Nov 1, 2023 · The Best Jokes About Friends. Friends are a blessing in your life. If your friends are true, you can always find them by your side, no matter how sad, happy, or challenging the situation is. And as you already know, jokes have the power to make you laugh. So, when friends and jokes are combined, there ought to be happiness and laughter all ... h10 white suites Get everyone giggling with these short jokes for kids and adults. Find funny puns, corny one-liners and bad-but-good jokes that even Dad would approve of.35+ Racist Jokes. “Can comedians joke about anything?” is an important question of today. In today’s times, people are pressurized to use inclusive language to appease others. This is mainly due to the rise of the Woke and Cancel Culture—especially in the West. A word that is considered appropriate a few years ago might be considered a ... wave accounting I have a joke about time travel, but you guys didn’t get it. I have a joke about being an electrician, but it’s too shocking. I have a joke about hunting for fossils, but you probably wouldn ...The four kids who make up the series’ wannabe gang are saving money to split for California. When one of them, Willie Jack (played, in a breakout performance, by Paulina Alexis), is asked by her ... bingo games free bingo games Knock-knock jokes can be a little annoying for adults, but they’re great to tell kids. If you’re looking for very funny jokes to share with your kids to strengthen your bond and make them laugh, then the following 9 jokes are perfect. 1. Knock knock – Who’s there – Annie – Annie who?I am over 18. Meet your newest employee. My salary shall be 5000 bucks. (TKZS = a state-run commie collective farm.) A man walks in the TKZS' boss office and says: "Meet your newest employee. My salary shall be 5000 bucks." The boss laughs straight at his face: "Comrade, the average salary here is 150 bucks. I don't make 500. how to earn money from web Look no further because I’ve got you covered with 75 hilarious jokes about all things history. These jokes will not only tickle your funny bone but also impress your friends with your wit and cleverness. We’ll be cracking puns about famous figures and making clever quips about significant events throughout time. flights from dallas to austin An example of one-line joke that plays on words is that people can’t explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they take things literally. Another play on words is that the dyslexic de... televicentro deportes 74 Funny Story Jokes That Earn Their Laughs. Linas Simonaitis and. Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė. 27. 1. ADVERTISEMENT. A one-liner is well and fine if you need a quick joke to brighten up the mood. Yet, sometimes, the need arises for something longer, more along the lines of a funny story. But we all know how these situations tend to go—if ...Yo momma so stupid, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone. Yo momma so stupid, she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side. Yo momma’s so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth. Yo momma’s so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.